This can have more than one meaning.
I realized in grade 8 that I am not going to be the painting artist.
I had to leave the art and had to concentrate on study.
I think I have started to get similar wake up calls.
Along with who you want to be, there are a lot of factors affecting what and how you want to treat the life to be.
Is it under control?
That is different question, but, for the time being, I am observing the world as it revolves.